I am so blessed to be reminded..

Salam,

Today, I receive an email from my superior when I was working with GH. He is one of the best people who I have been working with, apart from my degree's academic advisor. I am so blessed to know such a person who is so calm and humble, always showered us (junior researchers) with advices and guidance, good management skills and off course, a brilliant one. In his email, he said something that snapped me at once, because of what he said is always true, especially after my confession to him during my last visit to his grand office. I am not ashamed at all, to admit that at one point of my life, my anger used to control my life and decision. Wisdom was not my strong character, plus, I was a rebellion. For me, rules are made to be broken.


Over the years, especially in USA, I met humble, down-to-earth people that informally teach me to respect people specialty and expertise, regardless of their status of education. Being a PhD holder in one field does not simply mean you are an expert in everything as you might think. He never fails to remind me that, always being moderate on what you say. I learned from him how to not haughtily speak, which I try not to most of the times, except before a braggart person. I realized that complaining is my middle name, but I always pray to Allah S.W.T, please avoid me from being such a person showing no gratitude. I try to control my anger, despite not to the fullest degree; I learned to reduce the bad attitude gradually. Nevertheless, if I ever said or acted so, please please please forgive me, as it was accidental.

I accept his advice with an open heart and appreciation, because I know he deeply cares for me. To Tuan Haji Mohd Pilus Zamri, you may not read this, but I pray to Allah S.W.T to bless you and your family with His mercy and love.

Few random ramblings

Salam,

School stuffs

•  My first model didn't work. Conceptually, it is ok but practical-wise, hancur. Slope test pon tak lepas.
• Currently testing the second model. Seems work with limited data, so need more to test.
• Crushing my head to formulate the third one. Susah ok, kenapa aku tak test product macam orang lain?
• My advisor said, " To graduate is easy, just put bunch of stuffs in your thesis. But to produce something beneficial is hard to do." Dia cakap memang senang (but wait, he has developed bunch of models, right? Hye, I am not only half of his age, but also his experiences.)

Nation stuffs

• Too many complaints on the raising price of the gas (petrol). Why not the government sells the petrol based on the world's market price? I am sick of people who always complaining without facts.
• My deepest sympathy goes to Datin Seri Wan Azizah. For whatever reasons, I personally think that she is a very strong woman.
• On the other side of the spectrum, my deepest sickening goes to the media arus perdana. I want to hear scopes on: berapa banyak kadar pengurangan kemiskinan, berapa rate jobless sekarang, berapa banyak facilities dah dibangunkan lepas PRU 12 etc instead of the corrupted leaders, leaders committed adultery, leaders taking advantage to re-involve in politics etc.  All those news just make me wonder, how many of them are still clean / sincere to work for rakyat? 
• There are only two changes I anticipate from the current government before the PRU 13:
• I am not asking for salary increment, but please please please, control the price of the goods. Very loose regulations allow grocery / restaurant sharks charging ridiculous prices on goodies and foods. (Hari tu saya balik Malaysia, makan nasi lauk ikan tilapia, mama saya makan nasi lauk sayur, 1 air ais limau - RM10. Baik p makan KFC)
• More enforcements on the illegal immigrants. Sometimes I wonder where I live - Nepal, Thailand, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Africa, Myanmar? I hope that the Immigrations will do a better job than the Customs (better in enforcements and regulations, not swallowing rakyat's money)

Dalam otak saya sekarang, is only a thing. I NEED A BREAK and also money to take a good break!!!

Makan penampar

Salam,

Semalam kak Mimah citer pasal zaman sekolah rendah dia. Antaranya termasuk pasal cikgu yang suka tampar menampar nie. Saya sangat anti cikgu yang macam ini, bukan sebab saya degil waktu kat sekolah, tapi kena pukul kat muka memang mental ok. Bukan saya tak pernah kena belasah kat rumah, apa yang saya tak pernah kena? Ikat kat pokok? Kena bantai sampai hanger plastic patah? Kena kurung kat reban ayam? Kena tali pinggang? Semua pernah, tapi kena tampar dengan parents saya memang tak pernah seumur hidup.

Cikgu yang suka menampar nie namanya Z. Ibrahim. Saya ingat lagi namanya ok. Satu hari, cikgu Z nie soh budak-budak bawak surat beranak p sekolah, ada borang la nak kena isi. Waktu tu ayah saya tengah kursus askar Wataniah, dia bawak sekali surat-surat beranak kami. Parents saya waktu tu dah divorced, dan masing-masing berebutkan surat beranak kitorg, jadi ayah saya angkut ke hulu-hilir (dia simpan dalam kereta). Saya cuba bagitau cikgu Z, tapi dia bolayan. Sebelum dia tampar saya, dia tarik anak rambut saya dulu, sambil tarik anak rambut dekat dengan telinga tu baru dia tampar. Berdesing telinga ok!! Sangat lah sakitnya. Malam tu, waktu ayah saya telefon rumah, meraung-raung berguling-guling saya suruh dia datang sekolah hantarkan surat beranak tu, sebab setiap hari yang budak-budak tak bawak surat beranak, satu penampar. Saya tak kira dia tengah kursus ke, tengah perang ke, saya tanak penampar cikgu Z lagi.  Esoknya, ayah saya terpaksa datang sekolah pakai uniform, dia explain dengan cikgu Z panjang lebar. Tapi, dasar cikgu Z, tadenya dia nak minta maaf ke apa ke.

Saya sebenarnya tak kisah cikgu-cikgu nak pukul nie, tapi janganlah pukul kat muka. Lagi satu, kalau setakat terlupa something tu, tak payah la nak tampar-tampar (cikgu Z selalu tampar orang terlupa bawa buku, nasib saya tak pernah kena). Nama pun manusia (dalam Arabic, manusia nie An-Nas kan, originate daripada Nasa, maksudnya lupa. Dah fitrah manusia tu pelupa, sebab tu dalam Quran pon diingatkan selalu). Lain la kalau meraba ke, merokok ke, ponteng kelas ke, curi buku ke, patut juga kalau nak dipukul / dirotan (bukan ditampar). Saya macam pernah baca somewhere, yang pukul di muka tu tak digalakkan, tapi tak sure.

A same question that being asked countless times

Salam,

Perhaps when a same question being repeated so many times, especially a personal one, in spite of being asked by different people, can easily cause someone to behave like a bear with a sore head. Insanely, for me, that's not a big deal, especially that question. When I chat with my friends, after warm greetings, they would pop that question out. The same question that my immediate family members asked me during my short break  in Malaysia last October (They haven't seen me for 2 years, so I bet that they think two years should be sufficient for them to answer that question figuratively). In a long conversation with my lil pet sis, she politely asked me if she can ask a question, which turned out to be the same question that being posted to me now and then.

Envy, definitely. I guess that's always women nature. Ala, kita tengok orang rembat gerabak baru pon kita rasa terus nak kan hahaha.  Worry, surprisingly not at all. I believe in Lord's willing. After all, I have so much taken from me, and Allah have compensated that with something better. Yes, I once complained, when I was a brainless kid, about my nightmare childhood and the family that I never have, but He graciously replaced those with great experiences where I pick up the true meanings of life, a great man called a husband and a small crowd called true friends. I believe that He decides the best for me. When I think about it right now, I often complain about my busy schedule, so not having any at this time would give some air to breathe.

My final words, for all the moms out there who are juggling between research, exams, families: I am taking my hat off to you guys!!     

Of Khir Toyo and New Year Resolutions

Salam,

Haihh dah lama blog tak berupdate, tetiba blogging pasal Khir Toyo? (Nor I am trying to justify my busy schedule and tremendous amount of research data collected last Summer, by the way ada sape-sape yang buat phD tak busy? hehehe) After his controversial facial lift up (according to him, consuming tempe can give the same effect to the skin boost up by botox - aku yang hybrid jawa + cina sejak dari kecik dok makan sambal goreng, lodeh, kopok tempe, tahu, taufu fah, air soya, kulit tak cantek mcm dia pon!!), news on YB Khir, again filled up the mainstream newspaper columns and also (I much believed) opposition party-friendly blogs. Well, I am not into politics that much, but he's being charged of the corruption, I believed many cheers with the SPRM actions. My sincere two cents, the government should TOTALLY get rid of this type of YB, who is taking his position and title for granted, in order to gain (again?) the trust of people (especially whom are against them, hari2 komplen dalam FB). I am not against the government at all (it is not the fact that the government is generous enough to award me scholarship(S) - please note the S, plus they were not only to me, but thousands of the rest, that instead can be used to build low cost houses) but corruption among the leaders is truly a constraint to fair development and of course, unacceptable, unreasonable manner. Period.

For my new year resolutions, I decided to stay awake after subuh (which I can only do in Summer - sebab kena p kebun hehehe). Elders selalu cakap, tido lepas subuh rezeki tak masuk :( (sebab tu agaknya bila buat research byk problems hehehe)The very first day, I failed hahaha. Nevertheless, I managed to go to school 3 hours earlier than I usually did. Secondly, takmo malas-malas nanti kena extend lagi setahun babab and nak cuba khatam al-Quran at least setahun sekali. Cukup la tu ek, banyak-banyak karang bukan terbuat pon :p Pada sesiapa yang pasang azam tahun baru, semoga azam anda tercapai juga!

Salam sayang.

Entry merindui tanah air

Tetiba rasa nk balik Malaysia:-

1. Nak lepak Perhentian macam dulu2

 

http://gotravelplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/02.jpg

2. Nak makan char kue teow kat Sg. Balak

3. Nak makan kat Rosdet, Kg. Baru. Tak pernah lagi p makan kat kedai yang 2 minit lepas order air terus sampai, 10 minit makanan terus sampai, walaupun kedai penuh sampai tade seat. Sedap n sangatlah murah.

4. Nak makan nasi goreng ketam (soft shell crab) n air mangga special gelas mayonis kat Murni SS2, SJ.

5. Nak kena pow dgn my nephew - hari-hari nak makan Mc D, KFC, Pizza etc atau nak keta racing. 

Forever my heartthrob - degil camne pon dia tetap buah hati saya no. 1

6. Nak peluk2 mama sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Takleh tulis pjg2 psl mama - nanti saya melalak hahahaha