Ramadhan's blessing

Salam,

I do not know the best way to express this. One thing that I always believe is, Allah always answers our prayers.

Today, I had spent 4 hours with my new committee member, Dr. R. Right after coming out of his office, I burst into tears and cried for an hour. To recall for some bitter memories, around this time of the year, I cried so many times because of my stumbled research works, the lazy summer workers, bla bla bla. Ironically, today, I cried of joy.

Ok, kena tulis bahasa, In case, who knows? Kot2 prof. tu nanti jumpa pulak blog nie, cnp ke Google Translator. Before graduate nie, kena amek semua precautions.

Sebelum saya jumpa Dr. R, saya dah meeting dengan penyelia utama saya tu. Jawapan standard selepas saya present data itu ini, graphs yg bermuka2 surat itu, dah berbuih mulut bgtau saya punya layout dissertation writing, ialah OK, saye setuju. Itu sahaja, ok? Kecewa? Saya dah biasa dengan jawapan OK itu.

Bila saya jumpa Dr. R hari ini, saya angkut folder yang sama saya bawa tunjuk prof. OK itu. Dr. R godak satu-satu file saya, bukan hanya yang dalam folder, tapi dalam hard disk juga. Perkara pertama dia point out pada saya, labeling untuk ANOVA table saya salah. Owh gembiranya saya, sebab buat pertama kalinya ada orang bgtau saya saya buat salah!!!  Dr. R soh bukak program yang saya run analysis tu, cek semua command, suggest guna command lain, siap bagi contoh, dan bgtau yang method baru lebih accurate.

Lepas tu, saya tunjuk graphs lain pulak. Dia soh saya bukak semua Excel file yang saya simpan data untuk graphs tu, dah tu satu-satu dia check. Siap tunjukkan cara paling senang untuk process data, yang selama ini saya buat secara manual. Dia pon ajar saya untuk guna macro dalam Excel (silalah ketawakan saya, saya tak pandai guna macro), dan dia siap suruh saya practice depan dia, to make sure saya grab concept macro tu.

Tung tang tung tang, takut data tak elok, dia siap suggest yang saya setup satu experiment baru - dalam green house - (sebab summer depan dah patut grad kan). Dia bayar semua, tak perlu sakit kepala mana nak korek funds. Dia cuma tanya commitment saya untuk collect data, and for sure, bukan masalah bagi saya (walaupun lepas tu siap tanya, sempat ke saya nak grad nie, hahahaha).

Tung tang tung tang, saya tanya dia, boleh tak dia jadi co-advisor saya (ini telah difikirkan sejak dia report duty this April), sebab saya tersangatlah under-advised. Dr. R kata, dia tanak complicatedkan things and papers kat Grad School, so dia willing buat kerja as major advisor dengan title minor advisor. Saya dengan selambanya bagitau dia yang saya under-advised, saya rasa saya tertinggal dan lembap (ke lembab?), semua benda saya figure out sendiri, process and analyze data blindly (sebab major advisor asek kata OK saje, maka saya pon buat apa yang saya suka. Sadis kan?) bla bla bla, and dia boleh cakap, dengan data yang saya tunjuk pada dia hari ni, dia kata dia bangga dengan saya, and wish that he has one like me. Terharu ok, sebab selama ini saya bekerja keras, bertungkus lumus, dan diunder-appreciated. Owh dia pon cakap, written English saya untuk chapter yang saya bagi dia comparable dengan journal yang dia selalu reviews (senyum kejap, perasan pon perasan lah, kan?)

Bla bla bla lagi, Dr. R kata, kalau saya kena extend, dia willing untuk sponsor saya. Walaupun saya rasa saya akan terima sponsor tu (memandangkan kelembapan saya), saya tetap cakap, saya akan cuba dulu untuk graduate summer. Dr. R pon willing nak tolong saya tulis manuscript, dan harapnya pengalaman dia as reviewer akan bantu saya.

Keluar dari bilik dia selepas 4 jam, saya terus menangis tersedu-sedu. Semenjak saya start research study saya dari tahun lepas, hari-hari saya berdoa pada Allah agar research saya dipermudahkan. Selepas setahun saya struggled, melalak, berguling terlentang, dan sengsara (semua lah yang seangkatan dengannya) Alhamdulillah, segala pujian bagi-Nya, di bulan ramadhan, hari jumaat, doa itu terjawab!!!!

Semoga dipermudahkan semuanya selepas ini!!!

Kisah statistik

Salam,

Sape suka statistic sila angkat tangannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!! (Saya angkat tangan tinggi-tinggi). Semenjak study agronomy nie, sekejap-sekejap statistic, sekejap-sekejap statistic, sampai tahap nak sorok tangan bawah meja huhu.

Bila time kena start test model, saya dah pening kepala. Model tu ialah linear regression line, so ada slope n intercept. SV kata, buat t-test asing-asing, mula-mula test slope dulu lepas tu kalau takde significant different, baru test intercept. Kalau intercept pon tak berbeza statistically, then model tu ok. Saya pon test-test, semua slopes and intercepts tak significantly different, mulalah excited, siap lompat-lompat.

Tiba-tiba pulak, committee member yang terer statistic kata, bukan macam tu. Kena test slope and intercept tu serentak guna F test. Saya pon susah hati, dah siap boleh bajet outcomenya, jadi selepas test ikut kata committee member, sah!! model tu significantly different!! Saya bertambah susah hati (Maknanya kena repeat modelling?? Tidak mahu!!!)

Bila cakap dengan SV, SV kata, saya tade masalah pon publish journal dengan cara saya test tu. Sudah, saya sudah pening, rasa mahu guling-guling. Kata Cody kawan saya, tulis saje value untuk dua-dua tests tu, suruh saje depa pilih mana yang depa mahu percaya. Statistic nie, banyak sangat 'trick'nya, kadang-kadang susah nak faham (ini bukan statisctic pasal mean, median). Kata Mark Twain (sape tak tahu Mark Twain sila google  ^_^);

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."

Siapa setuju, sila angkat tangan!! (Saya angkat tangan tinggi-tinggi sekali lagi) hehehe

Few random ramblings

Salam,

School stuffs

•  My first model didn't work. Conceptually, it is ok but practical-wise, hancur. Slope test pon tak lepas.
• Currently testing the second model. Seems work with limited data, so need more to test.
• Crushing my head to formulate the third one. Susah ok, kenapa aku tak test product macam orang lain?
• My advisor said, " To graduate is easy, just put bunch of stuffs in your thesis. But to produce something beneficial is hard to do." Dia cakap memang senang (but wait, he has developed bunch of models, right? Hye, I am not only half of his age, but also his experiences.)

Nation stuffs

• Too many complaints on the raising price of the gas (petrol). Why not the government sells the petrol based on the world's market price? I am sick of people who always complaining without facts.
• My deepest sympathy goes to Datin Seri Wan Azizah. For whatever reasons, I personally think that she is a very strong woman.
• On the other side of the spectrum, my deepest sickening goes to the media arus perdana. I want to hear scopes on: berapa banyak kadar pengurangan kemiskinan, berapa rate jobless sekarang, berapa banyak facilities dah dibangunkan lepas PRU 12 etc instead of the corrupted leaders, leaders committed adultery, leaders taking advantage to re-involve in politics etc.  All those news just make me wonder, how many of them are still clean / sincere to work for rakyat? 
• There are only two changes I anticipate from the current government before the PRU 13:
• I am not asking for salary increment, but please please please, control the price of the goods. Very loose regulations allow grocery / restaurant sharks charging ridiculous prices on goodies and foods. (Hari tu saya balik Malaysia, makan nasi lauk ikan tilapia, mama saya makan nasi lauk sayur, 1 air ais limau - RM10. Baik p makan KFC)
• More enforcements on the illegal immigrants. Sometimes I wonder where I live - Nepal, Thailand, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Africa, Myanmar? I hope that the Immigrations will do a better job than the Customs (better in enforcements and regulations, not swallowing rakyat's money)

Dalam otak saya sekarang, is only a thing. I NEED A BREAK and also money to take a good break!!!

Meaningless Spring Break

Salam,

My university is currently on the Spring break for a week. Sounds like a nice treat, but for graduate students, Spring break is meaningless. It is synonymous to term papers, catching up with studies, endless research works, yadda yadda yadda. I have been working on the take home exam questions, and still got 2 full questions and 2 incomplete questions to answer. I got 11 pages written with 4500 words so far. Plus, a 12-pages term paper that I found a way to include a lot of pictures (ngelat not cheating :p). Right now, I feel that my brain is saturated and drained, simultaneously. Today's already Wednesday, I need to finish both of them before the school session starts again next Monday. In my schedule, 21 March is for poster competition (dah siap tapi belom print lagi poster!!), 24th is for SAS workshop (baru kedek-kedek yang belajar guna command based statistical software, takmo SPSS and Excel) and due date for the take home exam,  28th is for research seminar presentation (slide tak siap lagi). Haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Tu belom include April *_*

Rupa take home exam yang tak siap-siap. Minggu depan nak kena hantar.

Term paper yang 3/4 complete. Dah tak lalu nak baca journals!!

I just want to watch Rango!!!! I love animation and Johnny Depp!!

Nota kaki: Poster Rango saya cilok dari Wikipedia.

Mode bekerja keras!!

Salam,

Time: Saturday morning.
Venue: @ department.
Objective: Finishing 20++ take-home-exam questions.
Progress: 40%, currently on page 9, 3230 words and counting. To make it worse, this is my very first soil class.
Number of reference books checked out from library: 9

Nota kaki: Dalam kol 2 pm, tetiba aircond kat department nie rosak. Hangen satu badan!! huhu

Pants in US vs trousers in UK

Salam,

I recently discovered that many students decided to pursue their higher education in UK. In spite of higher currency rate, based on the increasing statistics, I presume that the government still stick on their policy to send students to the Queen's Land. I was in London for my master few years back, hence, for my PhD, it was a big NO to UK's educational system. I didn't consider Europe (despite free tuition fees) or Australia at all when I filled in the application forms. On the side of the spectrum, I wanted to explore for a better one, which I found out that US's fits me comfortably.

Listed below are some of the comparisons I have made (This is not a rule of thumb, these are only applied to me);

1. I was majoring in Remote Sensing and GIS for my bachelor and Master. I totally diverted to a new major for my PhD. US higher educational system requires you to complete a certain number of coursework (in my cases, it is 48 credit hours) so learning new subjects and knowledge are crucial for me to be able to teach when I  serve UPM later. Attending classes, doing homework, preparing for tests and term papers consume most of my time, hell yes, but without strong fundamentals in the new field I jumped into, I will be worth only a penny . I spent my first 2 years, solid, on taking coursework. No credit hours on research yet because there was an urgency to equip myself on learning new stuffs. Changing major is not an easy decision, and the "aftermath"? Well, I did really well so far (not to brag) with 4.00 CPA.

2. Many students have thoughts that studying in US in harder than in UK. Well, it is harder because you have to juggle between research hours and coursework, but harder doesn't make a system better. So, why then? It is really easy to get an A here as opposed in UK( an A in US worth 90, in UK it is 70), as long as you commit to your homework, assignment and exams. In many courses, I have an average of 6 exams per semester, a final, a term paper and bunch of homework. In a semester, I manage to take 9 -13 credit hours. I am not a genius at all, but the educational system here is designed such so that your grade / marks are partitioned into several sections. An exam may count only 15% of the total 100% mark, so you always have a second chance to improve your grade.

3. Your grade here is determined by your efforts, not by your final exams such in UK (again, this is based solely from my experience). Exam is not my strong point, I tend to flunk in a long exam session when I have to write 8 hours continuously in a day. Here in US, some of my professors, always give second chances to students. My committee member, Dr. Tina, in the mid of the semester, would call her students to inform them their performance. If you currently in the B jar, hye, it is not the end of the world. You still can get an A, but you have to do some extra works for me. It is not a free A. In another class, I asked the professor to check my term paper before the submission date and he returned me with  80% written on it. I did correct it for several times, resubmitted it, he recheck it, and by the submission date, he gave me 90%. The example does not stop here, I just list two.

4. Well, people may argue, is grade important in PhD? Well, that can get very subjective. For me, in a system where your performance is measured by a grade, then it reflects your efforts. In a system where grade is meaningless, like in UK (since there isn't coursework in PhD) then why bother? A good thing about maintaining your grade here is that it increases your chance to be granted by monetary award (Thus extra money for trip and shopping hehehe).

5. Research. This is the part I hate most. In US system, it is not mainly about producing novel works that will receive a Nobel prize, but it is all about learning process. Learning how to research and to be a good researcher. Nothing wrong to get a result that is against your hypothesis, but who would want that? You can get negative results, but you still can defense your thesis and publish. The reason is that, in future, no one will repeat the same work that you once thought it was a great discovery. Well, at least that sound better than trying to modify you results just to fit in with your hypothesis, but still, I hate to get negative results.

6. Time wise. In UK, I would say in average, students will wear their graduation robe in timely manner or plus minus an additional year. In US, the average program is about 4 - 5 years. Nonetheless, it is not possible to graduate in 2 years and half, provided that you can get your credit hours from your previous master coursework transferred. You may still have to take few subjects, but you have more times to spend on your research. In this coming Fall (it is called Autumn in UK anyway), I will be here for 3 years, yet my research progress is perhaps only 30%. That sounds bad, I know, but provided that I only started my research hours last Fall, it is actually not bad at all. The bad feeling will hit me only when I have to write a letter to the MOHE to ask for a semester extension.

After all, I guess it doesn't matter where students get their PhD. My friend said, tak kiralahlah dapat A ke B ke, janji dapat PhD. It is the Doctorate title that we are after for. It is very challenging to maintain your enthusiasm, passion and motivation during your PhD years, which I currently have that problem. I guess when you stuck and sleep with it for few years already, it just gradually consumes your passion from deep within.    

When your research haunts your sleep

Salam,

Last Friday, I had a brief discussion with my advisor on my proposed 3D model. He basically approved the idea, with a condition that I run tests to verify the independency of parameters at each axis. However, I only have 12 data points to test,  and of course, the pertinence of the results can be dubious. Suddenly, I doubted that I could swallow the whole vacillation. Well, it is a preliminary test, hence, regardless the number of data points, I should be able to run the test. BUT (a very intense BUT here) I have to admit that I don't have a strong stomach to run the test, despite that the data, slopes and all values required to run the test are ready. I am very optimist that I will be frantic if the test produces a result against my hypothesis. Well, one may say that is research, but to come out with a genuine idea in research is not a day or a month process. It took me a whole two year to understand the fundamentals of agricultural modeling. So, I decided to postpone the test until later, BUT, by delaying the tests simply means my nights were interrupted!! In my dream,  I heard voices echoed, " test those slopes, test those slopes".  While that dream was a horror one, it didn't occur once. Sometimes I dreamed of SAS codes, not to mention Excel spreadsheet. It never occur to my mind, until recently, that research thing could haunt my life. What kind of trap that I have put myself into?

p.s : sometimes when I became frustrated with myself, it suddenly hit me, why didn't I take the job with the OnG company?

Ubat sakit kepala

 Forget the caliche, irregular borings and ooids. How about the red velvet cupcake from Cheesecake Factory + Strawberry Creme Frappucino? Say bye to the headache.

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Those bitter memories

Salam,

I wonder how many of us spare a tiny bit space in our memory to remember our kindergarten years. Well, I did. In fact, I attended two years of kindergarten. The first year was bitter but the next one was pretty joyful. My dad sent me to Tadika Kemas when I was five. At that age, getting free kuih during brunch, coloring pages, singing lullaby songs were very exciting. It seemed that it was not only me who enjoyed being there. Two kerek girls did too, since they had someone in their hands to bully. They loved to pinch me so hard that I always ended up crying quietly somewhere in the tadika. I finally decided to tell my teacher, (I still remember her name, Cikgu Sharifah) since those girls (one is a daughter to an MA, another belongs to a director in a government agency) always sought for opportunities to be next to me. She listened to me every time I told her, but in one day, something unexpected happened. When my dad picked me up, he met up with the teacher. Well, guess what. She told my dad that I always made up stories and suka mengadu. I felt betrayed, and the next thing I remember was I refused to attend the tadika anymore. My mom took over the teaching job at home.

Unfortunately, couple years later, I heard a same version of the story. My friend was sexually harassed by her step uncle. I was big enough to understand the meaning of that phrase, so I asked her why she must sealed her lips so tight.  Just break the news! She said that no one would believe her, even at this high school age. Her scary, an Oscar winner step mum that you saw in the Cinderella movie, would definitely point back the accusation to her.  Just like what happened to me, but a lot more worse. Anytime I read in the newspapers about sexual harassment on underage girls, I  could easily digest their feeling. Is it really hard to believe any words coming out from a little girl?

Yes, I admit that I hate those able-to-listen-but-pretending-to-be-deaf adults. No judgment there, please. It happened to me once, happened to my friend as well, and perhaps many others. Well, experiences are the best teacher.

Apabila berlari tidak cukup tanah

Salam,

Anda pernah tak dengar peribahasa di atas? Tak pernah? Sila-sila lah tanya dengan orang Johor sebab saya rasa saya belajar peribahasa ini waktu saya kanak-kanak dulu. Maksudnya, terlalu sedikit masa untuk selesaikan kerja yang terlalu banyak!!

Kali ini saya tetap update blog ini walaupun saya sudah rajin membuat kerja sekolah. Selepas 8 hari on the road sibuk bercuti-cuti Amerika, saya sekarang terpaksa pulun kerja-kerja untuk conference February nanti. Semester akan bermula semula pada 11 January. 10 January saya kena bersiap untuk orientation day kat department saya (siapa suruh BFF dengan Presiden kelab, kan dah terpaksa jadi AJK!!) maka saya tak banyak masa untuk assemble slides! Kepala saya sudah serabut untuk pilih beratus-ratus graphs!

Mama saya sibuk suruh upload gambar-gambar bercuti. Kalaulah dia tahu anak daranya (kalau anak perempuan dah kawen nak panggil apa ya?)  sudah siap2 masak seperiuk rendang sebagai lauk seminggu, pasti mama saya tak bising-bising tanyakan tentang gambar. Tunggulah nanti mama, akhir-akhir semester saya upload ya hahahaha

Ini pengajaran kepada saya: selepas musim kemalasan + bercuti panjang, terpaksa bertungkus-lumus, lain kali jangan buat kerja last minute!! Owh alamak, boleh tak belum lagi register untuk conference & hotel??

Gambar depan shuttlecock gergasi kat Kansas City dengan Malaysian families yang super cool!! Ini saje gambar yang saya ada dalam camera saya, yang lain dalam camera Imran. Reason: Bila sua camera DSLR Imran kat orang lain, gambar selalu jadi kontot, terkerat sana sini :( Kalau nak minta orang lain ambilkan gambar, make sure anda guna compact camera!!

Malas vs Rajin

Salam,

Anda pernah tak rasa malas nak mengadap kerja research, duduk depan PC kerja chatting dengan best friend yang anda kenal dari sekolah rendah, blog-hopping, tengok-tengok website Macy's kalau-kalau ada sale item yang mampu dibeli, baca semua online paper dari Malaysia, dan tiba-tiba anda sedar jam sudah pukul 5.00 pm? Kalau anda tak pernah, anda memang layak bergelar pelajar tekun, cekal dan tabah. Contoh di atas ialah saya. Saya mengaku. Saya telah jadi pemalas sejak dua menjak ini. Research progress saya amatlah perlahan macam lembu yang dah kena sebat sebab disuruh berjalan pon tanak (lebih tahan kulit berbirat dari kena jalan). My first international oral presentation dalam bulan Feb depan, by end of January dah kena finalized material sebab masuk competition, tapi hampeh tak buat apa satu pon lagi.

Owh dalam pemalas-malas saya tu, saya rajin update blog walaupun tak kerap. Bila saya tade update, maknanya saya rajin pulun kerja sekolah. Bila ada update, maknanya saya rajin update blog tapi malas buat kerja sekolah hahaha. Sehari dua ini saya insaf sekejap selepas mendengar cerita kawan saya budak America yang sibuk nak baca buku sekolah walaupun balik kampung sambut Xmas. Dan buku itu untuk preparation semester depan yang hanya akan start pada 14 January. Budak Serbia gradlab-mate saya nie, balik-balik cakap, My research makes sense, finally!! I am writing my manuscript. Boleh tak rasa nak p PC dia dan delete manuscript itu huhuhu? Apakah dosa saya dikelilingi orang2 psiko macam mereka?

Orang lain pernah tak ek rasa malas macam saya? tetiba rasa letih saje belajar? Ke saya seorang aje yang bergenetik macam itu?

Current Progress

Tajuk entry nie macam nak hantar report kat ministry aje hehehe..by the way, to those who are sponsored by ministry (hinting to Ms Lurpak) report dah hantar ke belum? Karang allowance tak masuk, baru la gelabah hehehe.

Despite all the hardship and arduous fieldwork in Summer, I managed to get all the data necessary for my research. Unfortunately, I have to repeat the very same experiment next year (Malangnya, saya telah memadam entri pasal research saya awal-awal dahulu sebab terlalu banyak kutukan kepada penasihat saya hahaha). Thanks to the farm manager who refused to manage my trial plot necessarily. If only I can drive the complicated-to-maneuver fertilization tractor, I won't be complaining at all right now.  Alhamdulillah, I finally finished all the major processing work for my data. All left are minor data, waiting for the lab to send me the chemical test reports. So no more tight breath and boiling brain, at least at this time of the year where it is all about Shopping Holiday. I should, nonetheless start to write for my manuscript and dissertation. I am trying to graduate in July 2012, so I have thoroughly plan my schedule. 3 classes next Spring, research hours in Summer and Fall 2011, 1 class and manuscript and dissertation writing in Spring 2012.

US educational system for graduate studies, interestingly, compared to UK's, just like comparing an apple to an orange. I believed, people are more acquainted with UK's system, which mainly consists of research work (sebab tu research work depa power-power hehehe). In US, it is compulsory to complete certain number of credit hours of coursework (I am talking about classes, exams, quizzes, homework, term papers, etc - no auditing classes here, folks) and research hours (total of these should make up at least 60 credit hours, at least for my university) before you can submit an application for graduation. Basically, it is juggling acts between class commitment, research work and marriage (Balik rumah nk kena masak, kerja sekolah tak siap lagi, esok ada group dicussion bla bla bla. Fortunately, I can cross out baby from the list). You will be just damn lucky if you can manage to graduate within 4 years or less. You need more than crossed fingers, lucky charms for this.

Last nor the least, I care to take pictures of my cold, gloomy, sumpek graduate room that I shared with other 8 students.

  The quiet, dark graduate room that haunts me every now and then, keep asking me, Kenapa malas sangat nk ke sini dan buat kerja kamu????

 Care to guess which of these desks is mine?

(A) Meja hari-hari dikemas

(B) Meja berkepah-kepah dan serabut - tak pernah kemas

Let me give a hint. Those 8 aforementioned, never show up except for my funny-yet-kekadang-terlampau-laser Serbian friend. It is totally weird because every time the department kerani comes and checks for vacancy desks for new enrolled students, all these desks are occuppied. Kan betul saya cakap, graduate room nie berhantu, semua orang tanak datang buat kerja tau!! Bilik nie haruslah mandi bunga!!

Salam sayang.

A day out

Salam,

Pity us, our day out is not to a nice, scenery place. Instead,

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Kebun Kapas!! Nielah rupa kebun kapas saya tu - 2 acre luasnya - mana lah tak penat kalau keluar amek data. Nie baru kebun pertama, saya ada 2 kebun utk research

kesian lah suami saya nie, makan pon dalam kereta saje, tak sempat balik rumah pon, dr kerja terus ke kebun saya

Dah hilang kehenseman suami saya nie kena bekerja kat kebun

Hmmm saya pon confused dgn motif gambar nie

Terbayang-bayang agaknya Imran dgn parang yg dia guna utk menebas kebun getah mama saya dulu

Nie salah satu kerja saya di kebun, ambil gambar canopy dari atas. Tujuannya nak analyze kesan treatment. Setiap kali ke kebun, saya perlu ambil 72 keping gambar macam nie. Nie baru ambil, belum process lagi. 

Dah siap kerja, amek gambar dulu!!

Mountaineering frustration

Salam

I have been busy with my trial plots for the whole week. I had to go to my trial plots around 8.00 am, finished collecting measurement for my research around 4.00 pm and continued processing some samples at home till 11.00 pm. I hardly recalled when was the last time I cooked for my other half, and he barely complained about getting in the last-couple-of-weeks-cooked-and-frozen dishes into the microwave oven. My cozy little one bed room apartment that I used to vacuum and clean on a weekly basis, now turns into a tongkang pecah. Well, this entry isn't about the house chores, but a student worker that worked for my supervisor.

He hired this guy early this summer, with an increasing urgency to get a helper for his project, since I am running my own now; me and Imran lend our hands to him last summer.  His assigned working hours on the paycheck is from 8 to 5, but since my SV is a super nice guy, he allowed this mamat just to come to the lab or field if he has some works for him. Believe it or not, this mamat got a 2-weeks-paid off to watch the WC while my SV was busy with his research grant and thus spent most of his time indoor - no fieldwork. Sometimes he came to the lab around 10 am or 12 pm, but he still been paid the full working hours time.

Since he's jobless, my SV suggested me to take him to my trial plots, obviously to help me. In the first occasion, we started to work around 3.00 pm, and by 5.00 pm he was screaming into my ears that he needs to go home since his working time is only up to 5.00pm. I started to feel annoyed, because I know his leisure schedule in the lab.  When I asked him to help me with my measurements, he quickly said he doesn't know. By the way, it is not a rocket science stuff, it is only holding straight a pole over plant canopies.Then, he sit in the truck for two hours, waiting for me to finish the work.  My anger and rage started to bloom, but takpe, sabar dulu.

The next day, I asked him to come at 9.00 am, but only at 9.30 am when he showed up. The first question he shot to me is, can we go home early today, I have a doctor appointment at 4.30 am. I simply told him, we are NOT going home until my work is completed. After an hour measurement, he rested in his car in 15 minutes. In total, he took 2 hours and half to finish canopy height measurement (bukan susah pon, amek tinggi pokok aje, kerja baca pembaris, aduhaiiiii....) while it only required me an hour and half to do the same job. He was amazingly super slow, slower than the slowest person or animal that I ever known. I took leaf samples that I need him to run under an equipment, it only takes 5 secs to run a sample, but by the time I finished collecting all of the samples ( total: 400) he hadn't even finished 60. To cut the story short, I had to throw all the samples because there is a time frame that acceptable to run the leaf simple since it has been detached, due to his ridiculous slowness.  Plus, he kept asking me, when we can go home. In all conscience, his quality of works is unacceptable, and his nightmarish inefficiency weighing me down.  

I went back to my lab, with a greater degree of frustration. I cried out loud to my supervisor, he had his ears for me, but he was speechless. The very next day, I found out that the mamat was fired by my supervisor. It turns out that his post doc had the very same experiences. He is passionless, and anticipates for effortless money. Instead of being a student worker, he was acting like a student supervisor - supervising us.  Hey, did I tell you guys that he received $11/hr while many others (once, including me) only being paid $8/hr.

For me, there is no relieve at all, even after the good news, because I have to redo all my measurements next week. Easily said, those measurements that I spent 6 hours on collecting them, are totally useless. Haihhh mana la saya tak balik melalak kat dinding bilik air selama sejam hahahaha

The take home message that I learned here, well, regardless how hard you work, you will be frustrated when someone mess up with your research. You can do very well in coursework, perfect straight A's by the time you wear the graduation robe, but when it comes to research, most of the problems are not even yours. I shared the experiences with my dearest Amelia - her supervisor even relocated her name as the third author of a paper that she, herself wrote, solely based on her works. It is not hard to understand that, people can be harsh to you, and change you fate. I guess I am totally right when I say that fairness never existed hahahaha

For those who never seen cotton, nie lah rupanya. Waktu dia dah berbuah karang barulah cantek sikit, putih2 seluruh alam. This is my significant half, he came to the field to spent his 1-hour break on helping me out. I never can thank him enough - pukul 8.00 am dia hantar saya ke kebun, lepas tu dia ke kelas dr 8.30 am ke 11.45am, pukul 12pm masuk kerja pulak, pukul 3.30 - 4.30 masa rehat dia tolong saya di kebun, lepas tu terus masuk kerja semula dan pulang ke rumah pukul 9 pm huhuhu. and him, being the greatest man for me, being Imran, never shout out a single complaining word. Haihh what a total opposite hahaha

Salam sayang,

Melissa